Here’s today’s UK headline roundup—served with a healthy side of satire #ttcnews #politicauk
🚧 “Reeves Plans to Fix Bridges (Again)” Chancellor Rachel Reeves has announced a “10‑year infrastructure plan” to fix every collapsed bridge, rickety flyover, and tunnel heading toward collapse—including an extra £590 m for the Lower Thames Crossing. Because nothing says political promise like finally admitting infrastructure is falling apart… half a decade too late 🕵️ “Grooming Inquiry—This Time It’s Personal” Keir Starmer has green‑lit a national inquiry into historic grooming‑gang scandals—just as the Tories accused him of “jumping on the far‑right bandwagon.” Now he’s firmly planting his flag: “Yes, we were slow. But hey—we noticed!” 📈 “FTSE Tops Itself While We Cheer (Slightly)” The FTSE 100 hit a record-high—prompting financial markets to pull a face like they’ve just bitten mint‑flavoured gum. Thanks to strong earnings from Entain, BT, Vodafone, and a Metro Bank takeover tease—Brazilian carnival vibes in the City Club ✈️ “Air India Crash: Awful, and Somehow Still ...
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