🚧 “Reeves Plans to Fix Bridges (Again)”
Chancellor Rachel Reeves has announced a “10‑year infrastructure plan” to fix every collapsed bridge, rickety flyover, and tunnel heading toward collapse—including an extra £590 m for the Lower Thames Crossing. Because nothing says political promise like finally admitting infrastructure is falling apart… half a decade too late
🕵️ “Grooming Inquiry—This Time It’s Personal”
Keir Starmer has green‑lit a national inquiry into historic grooming‑gang scandals—just as the Tories accused him of “jumping on the far‑right bandwagon.” Now he’s firmly planting his flag: “Yes, we were slow. But hey—we noticed!”
📈 “FTSE Tops Itself While We Cheer (Slightly)”
The FTSE 100 hit a record-high—prompting financial markets to pull a face like they’ve just bitten mint‑flavoured gum. Thanks to strong earnings from Entain, BT, Vodafone, and a Metro Bank takeover tease—Brazilian carnival vibes in the City Club
✈️ “Air India Crash: Awful, and Somehow Still Political”
Tragedy struck as an Air India Dreamliner carrying 53 Brits crashed near Ahmedabad. With only one British survivor, the nation's mourning is mingled with renewed Boeing scrutiny—because nothing brings UK‑India relations closer than collective grief and aircraft investigations
🎶 “Franz Ferdinand to Tour UK in 2026 (Because WHY NOT?)”
On the lighter side: indie rock revival! Franz Ferdinand confirmed a UK/Europe tour for spring 2026—just enough time to rebuild all those bridges and roads they’ll be flying over
In summary: A perfect storm of Mr. Fix‑it policies, delayed political epiphanies, market mysticism, tragic headlines, and a rock ‘n’ roll cameo—no better way to mark Monday in Blighty.
Today’s UK news highlights
ft.com
Rachel Reeves to set out 10-year UK infrastructure plan
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